De____press

building blocks of suicide and sex
deception and abandonment
sadness and grief.
please reveal yourself to me.
are you the stepping stones for my uncalled for tears?
are you hole that has sucked up my innocence?
are you the reason i dont know what love looks like?

the human heart
the human mind
the human being

so full to the brim of ideas and reasoning
so molded by memories and enviorment

woe unto us
that we survive another mental holocaust
that we dont all in desperation pop pills prescribed by doctors

its too soon for the rapture
but from my lips i whisper
relief
i need relief
i need movement

if death is a friend than he has been my enemy
he never comes on time and always comes too soon
he kills my dreams
and i am the victim, helplessly following down a never ending rabbit hole..
not to my death but to another life

thristy soul

my soul is so thirsty
so very thirsty
i find myself awakened for the 4th time this lifetime
in a drought so devastating,
i can feel my insides shriveling in an effort to preserve water
i am here on my left side
my eyes rolled to the sun
i have lost my savior
i have lost my faith
i will soon be a mutated human being, as soon as this sun sets,
i will rise and feed off the hopes and dreams of my fellow man
i will suck the marrow from their bones and make their dna my own
i have lost my way and my mind is creating roadmaps and tunnels for me to travel
somewhere down the line i lost my self
all i have left is this shell i must preserve,
the sun is beginning to recede
please hide yourself from me,
i mean you no good.
anymore

To become a flower

My own expectations are closing in around me,
and only the idea of pain soothes my anxiety
I want to hurt so bad
I want to cry out all the poison the world has unleashed in me
~
where does a girl go to die an untimely death,
where there will be no morners or funerals
A place where she can lay down and watch the flowers spring up around her
growing and growing
until they suffocate her
wrapping her in their veins, roots and petals
until she can no longer see the sky above her
until only the flowers and their scent exist
until she blacks out and becomes one of them.
~
beautiful again