My mistake..

I took him in like an abolitionist
I held him inbetween my fingers
and held his deep breathe in my ears
my mind automatically recorded every sound and movement between us
and I have yet to find the erase option.
Fleeting,
from one house to the next
leaving behind only a scratched watch that tells perfect time.
A handsome face sits in my head, smiling, out of deception.
I am not faded by that,
I know what you wanted,
you wanted to liberate yourself
at my exspense,
at the exspense that we will never really know eachother.
But I,
even more selfish than you, wanted to see what your faux liberation looked like.
My curiosity was more important than you, and me.
I regret nothing, and everything.
My only option is to light another candle,
set it on my window,
and expect nothing.
but hope for so much..

Truth in The Night

Ive been on a journey and I believe I've entered another door in the space of my mind.
I can see and hear things that are unspoken not just from other people,
but from even myself.
Me the greatest hider, the greatest pretender, the most lonely lover..
I am my own little creation, but i've created myself while half sleep
as i awake i see the need to recreate within myself
this recreation cant be found in the ends of the earth
or in the bottom of a bottle, or blunt, or in a lovers embrace
its in the space of my soul
yes i have a soul
and it is alive..
i feel it..i see how utterly terrible and wonderful it is to be human and how potent and incredible it is to be being.
but to possess both................
thats a journey...
a journey that is taking me more places than ive ever imagined..im discovering corners in myself that ive hidden from myself..
i see thru my own addictions and love me anyways..

and when i become the blue artist i am sometimes predisposed to be....
i try..and sometimes fail..
but i try to let my blue be blue
because i am ever changing but ever the same.
simple as that and just as complicated as that..

who r u?