To become a flower

My own expectations are closing in around me,
and only the idea of pain soothes my anxiety
I want to hurt so bad
I want to cry out all the poison the world has unleashed in me
~
where does a girl go to die an untimely death,
where there will be no morners or funerals
A place where she can lay down and watch the flowers spring up around her
growing and growing
until they suffocate her
wrapping her in their veins, roots and petals
until she can no longer see the sky above her
until only the flowers and their scent exist
until she blacks out and becomes one of them.
~
beautiful again