Alignment

"Practice in Action"

I am practicing.

Didn't you read the sign on the door before you entered?

I told you I wasn't very good at my own instrument,

although, I thought I knew how to play it all these years...

You, would walk in while I am at the height of my self terror.

You, would tell me you hear beautiful sounds coming from my instrument.

You, would tell me that you love me.

(You, are so familiar, yet I, cant recognize You)

And I, would try to play so loud and so terrible;

because if you were right, all these years I spent playing in this box,

will dissolve into nothing.

I would be left with my own gratitude.

I finally hit a note,

a chord,

a vibration so low...

you slowly back out..you back all the way out the door..

you close it and straighten the now crooked "Practice in Action" sign.

I never had an audience before you.

I never had someone listen to my sound.

I never believed you would ever stay anyways..

The slow splitting of my heart begins...my first human tear in years.

I play our song on my instrument.

I smile to myself. you were right .this is beautiful.

I walk myself over to the door from which you entered and left

I open it big and wide

I take myself out

and I play my song,

possessed by the love i once feared..

I play with the intention of vibrating at the highest of frequencies 

so high, I forget that my notes are constantly touching my own soul, there is no longer separation.

I play so high that I envision you on your journey

I send you our song,

in silence I see you hearing those perfect notes,

I see you playing your instrument 

and our music meeting at the stars    . . .

we follow our own notes to each other.

I am no longer in practice and have surrendered to my self

you have surrounded to yourself sometime ago and no longer are in dissertation

we no longer need each other

belief and believer are one

we can sit beside each other and play our own instruments

we can sit on a hill in perfect unison

it hasn't taken but a moment to get here,

a moment of a million lifetimes to play together again, under our stars.

Dedicated to my soul mate.

an old dream i had

We were stuck in a bloody bathroom with no windows 

You fingered fucked me as I bled 

And I found no pleasure I found no displeasure

I had the steady thought that there were no windows

No ways of escape 

No ways of hiding what I had fell into

I knew you would find me

And you did

You gently pushed open the locked door

As I knew you could

And you said "I knew it, I knew it"

Like I knew you did

You took me away from that scene

You took my hand

As we walked away I searched your eyes for shame, and found none.

Thank You,